Thursday, June 9, 2011
Fear and Relief
As I hold my first actual copy of my debut novel, "The Light of Epertase: Legends Reborn," I am struck by a couple of feelings at once. First, I have enormous relief. Relief in that the culmination of several years of hard work now rests in my hands. Relief in knowing that I have done everything I could in order to present my story in the absolute best way possible.
Now, with the actual book in my hands, I couldn't be happier with how it has turned out. Several years ago when I started imagining Epertase as a published novel, and not just something I worked on whenever I had spare time, I had but one wish. That wish had nothing to do with making money, or having people know my name, or anything like that. No, my wish was to be able to one day present my story to the world in the best way possible. I believe, with the tireless work of many people, that goal has been accomplished.
But, having said all of that, I have a new fear as well. Not really a new fear as much as a lingering fear that has suddenly rose to the forefront of my mind. Rhemalda and I have created something I am infinitely proud to have done. Whether we have, in fact, succeeded in our goal is now up to you, the reader. There comes a time in an artist's life when they must put their hard work into the public eye to be scrutinized. That time is nearing for me.
And that is what scares me. There is no way I can know how my work will be perceived until it is "out there."
Am I a good writer? Hmm. Well, for today I have to trust that I am. But come August 1st, it will be your turn to be the judge. My story will be out of our hands and at your mercy.
Rhemalda and I have done our best.
I hope you like what we have created.
I hope you will be entertained.
And I hope you decide to join us for the rest of my Epertasian journey.