tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653289895722362588.post670820138378274367..comments2023-03-24T15:05:18.471-04:00Comments on Epertase: Man, I'm tiredEpertasehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11201264771630506520noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653289895722362588.post-91079800533293081692009-10-11T19:01:33.335-04:002009-10-11T19:01:33.335-04:00Matthew, I definitely understand where you are com...Matthew, I definitely understand where you are coming from as we've discussed some of your criticisms previously. I'm not glossing over details that I find mundane as much as trying to focus on certain elements of certain runs. I understand how your mind works (a little) and how you need all of the details. However, what I'm attempting to accomplish in this blog is to give a short (1000 or so word) glimpse of calls that I take. I need to pick a few interesting details and focus on them. Whereas one run may have descriptions of responding in the medic (if something happened that I feel is out of the ordinary), another call may include a particularly difficult IV attempt or intubation. Therefore, I have to gloss over some of the details. If you take my entire blog as a whole, instead of per run, my stories would become boring if I told you about every IV, or every driver who cut us off. This run, I felt, the excitement was better served telling about the woman's injury and the difficulties with her boots. Also, if you read back through, you'll see that I touched on having an EMT hold her foot throughout the transport though I didn't specify how he did it. This story is part one of a 3-part story about one incredible night that I had a couple months ago. My next post should have more back-of-the-medic description as the interesting part of that run takes place during our treatment.<br />Do I make any sense or am I out to lunch?Douglashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16251119793321995975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7653289895722362588.post-13916439932824171962009-10-09T21:52:18.650-04:002009-10-09T21:52:18.650-04:00Two things come to mind. Oh, and please understand...Two things come to mind. Oh, and please understand that I feel like a douche for dishing out the criticism, but you told me it's what you wanted.<br /><br />First, I think that the description of the water dripping from your face was a nice bit of figurative lanuage, but it's in the wrong place. You stopped the story dead in it's tracks. If you were to use the same sentence back when you approaced her in the wet grass, it wouldn't change the pace a bit. <br /><br />This is the linear continuity I'm always on about. Make it flow like a river. If you talk about the rain up front, establish the details there, and only mention it again if the rain changes, or complicates what you're trying to do. You could say something like, "I looked down and saw her toes pointing the wrong way. As if on cue, the sky opened up and pummeled us with a torrential downpour, letting us know that a bad situation had just gotten worse." You can use your environment to punctuate the action, but you want to put it where it will support the action, not detract from it.<br /><br />Second, you have a huge time warp between running lights and sirens, and you finishing the report while she was in surgery. What did you do with her dangling foot on the way? Did you let it flop about? Were you able to control or stop the bleeding? Did you attempt to splint it? Did she see it? How did she react? What did you do to distract her for the 15 minute ride? What was the reaction of the ER staff when you wheeled her in? What did she say to you? Was she grateful? Dismissive? In too much pain to interact on a personal level?<br /><br />I simply LOVE the stories about your runs, but need and enjoy the details that you gloss over because they're routine to you. It's not at all routine to me.mind( )statehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17263190181240320804noreply@blogger.com